Five poems to conclude sexual assault awareness month

— and to begin the conversation

Unsplash photo by Kelly Sekkema

PTSD.

Don’t touch me that way.
Actually, like this.
Forget it.
Make eye-contact.
Okay.
Wait.
Get off me.
I’m done.
Yes, I’m sure.
I’m sorry.
No, you didn’t do anything wrong.
I can’t tell you why I’m crying.
I don’t know.
Yes, please, water.
Thank you.
I don’t know what happened.
I’m sorry.
Thank you for understanding.
Pass me the wipes please.
Can we watch a movie?
Something funny.

Realizations:

1. There were many times I thought “no,” but quickly convinced myself into an “of course.”
2. Every time I pleased him, I ignored myself.
3. I denied the fact that it happened for years.
4. When I tried speaking up, I was silenced.
5. If I could suck it up the amount of times I did, what made me think that he couldn’t?
6. This is exactly why it hits my gut to say “no” today.
7. It’s a work in progress, picking layers back little by little.

would I lose my warmth
of the woman you know
if I chose to stand up for myself?

to strong women:

“Bravery” was never a label attached to a man on a quest for greatness.
Instead, it is a lifestyle for women that comes as an expectation.

Many of us have never learned to be filled with self-love at early ages.
So instead, we explore far and wide like the fairy tales we’ve read. In video racing games, we watch the clock tick down; 3, 2, 1, GO. If only we could recognize the spirals of love in our eyes before our clocks tick down. It is energy that exists before we left the womb.

— You are more complete than you think.